I Didn’t Know What to Ask, But I Showed Up

Real Thoughts From a Mom Navigating Her First IEP Meeting

I didn’t walk into our first IEP meeting with confidence. I walked in with nerves. With a stomach full of knots. With a brain that was trying to listen, but couldn’t keep up. Because the truth is — I didn’t know what half of those terms meant. I have ADHD. I get overwhelmed. I need time to process things. And they were throwing acronyms, evaluations, and placement suggestions at me faster than I could hold onto them.

I sat there thinking, “Am I supposed to understand this?” “Am I supposed to agree?” “Should I say something? But… what would I even say?”

The only thing I knew — deep in my chest, clear as day — was that I wanted my son, Ronnie, to look me in the eyes and call me Mommy.
Not echo it. Not repeat it. But mean it. That didn’t happen until he was 9 years old. And I held onto that hope like it was oxygen.

The Person Who Made It Bearable

I brought someone with me to that first meeting. Her name was Chantille Schram, and I will never forget how safe she made me feel.
She didn’t let me feel small. She didn’t let me feel dumb. She reminded me that my love for Ronnie mattered. That it counted. That one act — showing up with support — changed everything.

I Didn’t Know I Could Ask…

I didn’t know I could ask for sensory breaks. I didn’t know I could say, “I need more time before I sign this.” I didn’t know I could request data or speak up when something didn’t feel right. And I sure didn’t know I was allowed to feel confused. I thought I had to nod. Smile. Say thank you. Leave quietly.
Because I thought I was just a mom — someone who stayed home, cooked the meals, and trusted the experts. But here’s what I’ve learned since that day:

You are allowed to take up space at that table.
You are allowed to ask questions — or not know what questions to ask yet.
You are allowed to need help.
You are allowed to learn as you go.

And you are more than enough to advocate for your child — especially when it doesn’t feel like it.

If you’re a parent with ADHD or any learning disability and you feel lost in these meetings, please know this:
I see you. I’ve been there.
And I will always help if I can.

Because someone showed up for me — and now I get to show up for you.

You’ve got this. And you’ve got me.